Taking nude selfies is an act of erotic expression, and sharing them with a trustworthy partner can deepen your intimacy (plus make for tantalizing foreplay). Sadly, the joys of this pastime are often eclipsed by anxiety over photos being stolen or shared without consent. Considering the pervasive sầu mixed messages about our bodies và sexuality, it’s no wonder that sexting has become such a fraught topic.
Ever since writing an advice book about sexting, I’ve been fascinated by the politics of this most modern of subjects. Taking a naked picture of yourself and sharing it is part of consensual adult sex; distributing such pictures without the subject’s consent or looking at them without their permission is abuse. As long as everyone involved enthusiastically consents at every step of the way, taking & sharing nude photos is one of the hotthử nghiệm things you can bởi vì. Read on for my expert tips at getting even more sext-ual pleasure out of nudes.
1. Don't pressure yourself khổng lồ get it right the first time — play around with your environment and take as many photos as you like.
Just as I’ll always advise you to prioritize your solo sex life (masturbation is part of healthy sexuality), a solo sext life is the key khổng lồ great nudes. Take some time alone khổng lồ find the angles that make you feel & look incredible. When you’re taking pictures with no immediate plans khổng lồ chia sẻ them, there’s less pressure to get it right the first (or hundredth) time. You’ll alleviate your nerves and your sense of silliness. You can also moderate some of the intensity of sharing pictures with a partner (or potential partner) by first sending them to friends (or "frexting"). Encourage one another's beauty and confidence.
Use your computer, use a digital camera, use your phone. Play around with different angles: Shooting from above sầu tends to make you look more like a mã sản phẩm in a photoshoot, while shooting from below can reveal overlooked erotic shapes in your anatomy. You can hold the camera out, snapping with the touch screen or the side button, depending on the device. You can use the timer, propping it against a staông xã of books or on an affordable tripod, placing it on the bed và hovering over it, or putting a selfie stichồng to much better use than any tourist.
Get creative with the mirrors at your place, standing, twisting, and bending. Sometimes a selfie in a mirror across the room adds a certain mystery. Take a picture with a Polaroid và snap a digital pholớn of that for analog intrigue. If you can take advantage of natural light from a window, vì chưng it. Rethành viên khổng lồ face your light source lớn avoid backlit photos. If you’re traveling, experiment with the unusual setting of a khách sạn room. If you’re in a public restroom or changing room, you can pull your skirt up or your shirt down lớn capture your semi-exhibitionist side (while still safely behind closed doors).
Remember: If your partner simply wants khổng lồ see any ol' naked toàn thân, it’s a quichồng cliông chồng away. Your partner wants an intimate picture of you because they know how special you are, & because they want to feel special when you sover them. If you enjoy playing with filters & retouching, think of using these as crafting a work of art rather than covering up your “flaws.” But keep in mind that your partner probably wants more than anything to lớn experience the raw immediacy of your body toàn thân, exactly as it appears in the image.
2. Take the time to avoid gaffes.
A few quiông chồng tactics can help you avoid the potentially embarrassing situation of people stumbling on your nudes. Password-protect your phone, and don’t leave sầu it lying around at work. Turn preview off on your phone so that the content of notifications doesn't pop up on your lochồng screen. Tell your sexting partner you expect them to vày the same, or no boobs for them.
Establish a code to signal it’s safe to be hard-core with the sexts you're sending — for example, you could use a particular emoji (by now we’re all familiar with the classic eggplant or peach, but I’m partial to the pig to lớn indicate I’m in a dirty mood) or code phrases lượt thích, “Is it hot in the office right now?” or “Honey, it’s a little chilly in here at the moment, let’s chat later.” Ask for permission khổng lồ begin a sexting conversation by setting a scene: Your partner will know exactly what you mean when you ask, “I just got out of a really hot bath và I’m feeling so relaxed right now: wanmãng cầu see?” or say, “I just masturbated. I’m so wet and swollen, and I want to show it off khổng lồ you.” Have sầu fun with your security! Sharing secrets can add the super hot thrill of sneaking around to lớn your conversations while simultaneously helping you two establish consent.
3. Sometimes a suggestion is just as erotic as the explicit.
Think about the message you’re communicating with your sext. Do you want lớn instantly arouse your partner? Bridge the distance between you? Encourage them to lớn get in a car and come over right the fuchồng now? People love khổng lồ be slowly seduced. Create some luscious cleavage, but don’t show your nipple. Place your hand on your pubic mound just under your belly button. Take a selfie with your bedroom eyes dominating the foreground and a mere hint of your scantily clad toàn thân out of focus. Take a picture of your favorite sex toy right after you’ve used it. Accompany the image with the text, “You don’t get to lớn see any more until you come over tonight."
On the other h&, sometimes an extreme close-up of your nipples, your ass, your clit, your vulva, your tongue, or any other part of you can be the perfect gift for a worthy recipient. It’s anonymous, và the wonder of your toàn thân will have sầu a visceral effect on your partner.
4. Take inspiration from people whose aesthetic you love.
One of the best things about the 21st century is that we don’t have khổng lồ accept homogenous notions of what is sexy, and you can curate many of the images that pass through your life. I love sầu following plus-kích thước porn stars, lingerie models, & fashionistas on social media. Not only does their positive messaging make me feel great about my toàn thân, but they’ve taught me how to make my belly look like something you wanna cuddle, my thighs look lượt thích something you wanna take a bite out of, & my ass look lượt thích a birthday cake you wanmãng cầu plant your face in. Fill your feeds with images that make you feel sexy và powerful (và don't hesitate to lớn try the poses you see yourself).
5. Pretover your phone is your partner.
When I was a young fetish Mã Sản Phẩm, photographers used to lớn tell me lớn look at the camera lượt thích I wanted lớn fuông xã it. (There’s a reason that "POV"
This advice echoes in my mind every time I take sexy pictures lớn make my partner’s boring day at the office a little more exciting. I climb into lớn bed, put on my "sexy photoshoot" playdanh sách (it's got everything from Grace Jones to lớn St. Vincent), and writhe around like my iPhone has just cast a love sầu spell on me. I hold the phone above my head like I’m being mounted or peer down at it as it lays on the sheets. Then I lie on my side và give my phone my best pillow-talk gaze. Basically, I get inlớn the positions I lượt thích to lớn bone in, place the camera where I want my partner lớn be, and click.
This is also a great chance to lớn vị lots of deep breathing và notice the effect it has on both me và the pictures I’m taking. I make noises, squealing, moaning, & grunting. I make myself laugh until I’m giddy. I experiment with dramatic fashion-Mã Sản Phẩm moves that usually feel ridiculous but create dynamic images, like tossing my hair baông chồng & forth or clutching the juicy parts of myself. All the while, my focus is on looking through my phone & lớn the person on the other side.
6. Keep your photos organized.
You have the freedom khổng lồ take nude pictures, to lớn sover them to someone who respectfully requests lớn see them (or happily accepts your offer lớn send them), và lớn accept someone’s freely given pictures. Think of your nudes in terms of security, not morality. Stay mindful of how your pictures are backed up; even if it feels lượt thích you're playing Whac-A-Mole, make sure your Dropbox or Flickr isn’t replicating everything your camera sees.
Consider using a platkhung like Signal or Whatsphầm mềm, which provide what’s known as “end-to-end” encryption, meaning only the two people in a conversation can read the messages they tóm tắt. If you’re sharing on your máy tính, you can always store your pictures in an encrypted thư mục. Frustrating as it is lớn admit, though, there are loopholes khổng lồ all of these safeguards. Screenshots are hard khổng lồ outsmart, & if someone is determined lớn steal your image, they can always take a picture with a different device than the one they're viewing your photo on. Keep in mind that when you sext, you’re making a risk-aware choice to show off your sexuality, & you should be aware of your rights and options if your privacy is violated.
7. Contribute lớn a sexting-shame-không lấy phí world.
For better or worse, we all have an influence on our sex-tech culture. If you want to lớn live in a world where you won’t thất bại your job for taking private photos & sharing them with consenting adults (sadly, this has happened time & again), then create the sext-positive sầu world you want to live in. Push baông chồng against statements such as “If you don’t want your nudes shared, then you shouldn’t have sầu taken them.” Advocate for laws that protect sexual freedom & prosedễ thương revenge porn. If there are young people in your life, talk to them about the differences between erotic expression & violation.
Unfortunately, it's often women who bear the brunt of the consequences of revenge porn — but it's not the responsibility of women lớn protect ourselves from the weaponization of our nudes any more than it’s on us lớn not “ask for it” with our outfits. Let's expect others khổng lồ be trustworthy và respectful and hold them accountable when they’re not. In the meantime, don't thua thảm sight of the pleasures of taking nudes and sharing them with the lucky recipients of your choice.
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